Serenity

Searching for a direction. Generally guided by forces of incomprehension and irrelevance, my thoughts wander in search for a retreat. A place without time, troubles, deadlines, diseases, wars and full of hope. A place so basic, every thing is tranquil.

Sadly, it has eluded for most part of my life. There were always moments when I felt within grasping range of its shores but they are scattered and always seem to show contempt at me for some reason. Coming so close and going away again. As always, there were many paths which led to my station and I've nearly trodden all of them.

“In the middle of this journey, we lose a bit of ourselves. We do not know where we are or where we’re headed. We look for directions, seek for guidance, and if we’re lucky, we find it without too much time lost. And if we’re truly lucky, we gain our whole selves back, with an ounce of wisdom on top.” 

It's easy to just raise your hands in the air, give up your liberty to those who value it less and are always up in arms with their ideals to force down everyone's throats. Then it is no longer your retreat. It is someone else's. And it will not represent the values your cherish, nor the ones which brings you peace.

I guess, there's always a way. A hidden path if you will.

It's up to you to find your way in.

"You can't take the sky from me."


©2015 Aman Gupta

Choices and Life

There is always a time when you just wish it'd pass. Like you really can't find anything worth going through all of it.
Sometimes it's hard to point at a certain event which makes you feel the way you are feeling right now - or maybe they are a combination of multiple events which conspired to rob you of other emotions. Of course we can just say that we don't care about what others think we should do - but the sad truth is, we are slave to petite emotions. As much as we say that others opinions don't matter, they in fact, actually do, don't they?

As much as I want to be as mediocre as I possibly could, people will always ask why I'm wasting away myself? Why am I not paying attention? Why am I not making the right decisions, even when I know the consequences of the wrong ones?
My answer has always been the same - It doesn't bother me. In my mind, which by the way is very weird place, I've never seen myself holding the Cricket World Cup, the key to the city, or the Annual Young Developers Scholarship award for not so young developers. I'm not saying all this stuff won't be good - it'll probably be awesome - but what difference does all this make after a while?

A wise man in a wise movie once said, "On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. This is your life and it is ending one minute at a time."

Whenever I see a big accomplishment I imagine it in my mind - the moment, the paparazzi, the cheers and the celebrations, everything. But once the moment has passed, all I see is a dark room with old cups and yellowed papers with me sitting on the floor, alone. Then comes the next thought - "Was all this really that important?"

Back to the present now, life is a bit lack luster right now. Only a handful of things really get me going, things which wreck the sleeps of many just about manage to show up as a sad little grimace. It takes time to realize how much I have changed - probably missed a lot of indicators along the way. I think it's now time that things start to make their importance felt, again.

It goes on so long that people forget what you really were before. I think it's time that I flipped the switch back.

I'm making a choice. It'll define me - as choices have a way of doing, over time.

©2012 Aman Gupta

Come together Part 2

Come back to me girl tonight,

and we'll talk about the-

-fight, we had that-night-

and I'm sorry as I told ya' before.

even still it ain't my fault

that you left before breakfast.

I listened...listened every words you said,

and went back to the time we had,

I couldn't hold it and,

went mad,

couldn't tell you that

I loved you more than anything I had,

couldn't say the words -I was meaning to have-

-to say to you what it is to be in this-

-place, where I wanna say something, but can't..(that)

HOOK:

Ow! Baby, I(i) am(am),

Waiting for you on the edge,

Waiting for the night to end....

Waiting for you to come, 

and hold my'e' hand.

That's all I wanted to say,

baby come back,

make my day,

make my world a little more realistic,

//but I couldn't get past the damn feeling of regret,

I tried, tried harder than you,

controlled my self to say things at you,

it wasn't easy I ad-mit but,

it was easier when I saw the pain you would feel if I did -it..//

so, I comeback looking for you,

I don't wanna hurt you,

jus' wanna save you,

from the autocracy of the world.

Now, I'll just wait here on the edge of

the night, waiting for the stars and the moon to rise....

because I'm -

HOOK:

Waiting for you on the edge,

Waiting for the night to end....

Waiting for you to come, 

till the light from the sun,

touches my skin and it burns

I need to run,

clear up some space hon',

I'll be late, don't wait up,

don't 'Goodbye' me dear,

I'll be back,

and before you know it,

we'll be right on track.

and all I wanted to say,

baby come back,

and make my day...everyday.

©2010 Aman Gupta